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.:: Are You A Phone Geek? ::.

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Current issue : #13 | Release date : 1987-04-01 | Editor : Taran King
Phrack XIII IndexTaran King
Real Phreaker's Guide Vol. 2Knight Lightning
How to Fuck Up the World - A ParodyThomas Covenant
How to Build a Paisley BoxThomas Covenant & Double Helix
Phreaks In VerseSir Francis Drake
R.A.G. - Rodents Are GayEvil Jay
Are You A Phone Geek?Doom Prophet
Computerists Underground News Tabloid - CUNTCrimson Death
RAGS - The Best of Sexy ExySexy Exy
Phrack World News XIIIKnight Lightning
Title : Are You A Phone Geek?
Author : Doom Prophet
                               ==Phrack Inc.==

                     Volume Two, Issue 13, Phile #7 of 10


    Take this simple test to find out! A word of caution however...This file
is not a measurement of your intelligence or sex appeal. Read on at your own

    Simply answer the following questions completely and truthfully.

    1: You are out on a date with an amazing looking chick. You are at a drive
in and notice that she is getting rather hot. She wraps her arms around you
and lets you know she means business by her passionate pelvic thrusts. However,
you lose concentration when you notice a Bell truck has pulled in next to you,
and the driver is asleep (boring movie). What do you do???

    A: Push your girlfriend away and sneak out the door quietly, in hopes of
scoring on countless hard to get goodies such as lineman's tools, test sets,
manuals, and telephone numbers to engineer.

    B: Give her the end of a soda bottle and tell her you'll be right back.

    C: Ignore the silly Bell truck and continue with your date.

    2: You are in the middle of town. It is cold and raining. You have sneaked
out of your house to the local fortress to conduct some experiments.
When making a call to your fave LDS, you hear an MF routing! What do you do?

    A: Continue your call as normal, making a mental note of the occurrence.

    B: Quickly hang up and repeat the procedure in the same fashion, in hopes
of getting the routing again, so you may memorize it and post about it.

    C: Talk in whispers and glance over your shoulder for Bell security and FBI
vans coming your way.

    3: You are in your school's office for disruptive behavior and notice that
they're having some difficulties with call completion. What do you do?

    A: You jump up and investigate the source of the problem, calling various
test numbers while you're at it, performing a full battery of tests upon the

    B: You grab the phone and dial the repair service, going into a long
technical discussion on bandwidth limitation properties upon PBX type systems.

    C: You don't give a fuck and let the bastards figure it out for themselves
since they're the ones who are punishing you for pissing in the corner of the
study hall.

    4: You've had a little too much to drink and aren't driving well. Suddenly,
a telephone pole appears in front of your car. You have a head on collision.
You feel blood dripping from the gash in your forehead. What do you do?

    A: You climb out of your smashed car and decide to climb the pole and
investigate the aerial distribution box for possible notes left by linemen.

    B: You whip out your notebook and take note that there is a can up there
and put the note away for future reference. You then go to the hospital.

    C: You wail in dismay that you might have forgotten your new codes in the

    5: You are on your favorite BBS when you see some loser asking questions
about tracing. What do you do?

    A: You ignore the question because you're too elite.

    B: You rag the user on every sub boaoard and in mail because ESS DOES
trace you when you make too many calls to the same number.

    C: You leave the user twelve pages cpied directly from a manual about
the call trace procedure along with some personal comments on how Bell puts
DNR's on lines if the words 'phreak', 'hack' or 'code' is spoken over it.

    6: Your mom picks up the phone during a conference and overhears someone
harassing a DA supervisor. Later she asks you about it. What do you do?

    A: Say 'Mom, I know you're not going to believe this, but there's a new
company that connects you to a pre-recorded phone conversation for a nominal
users fee.'

    B: Say you don't know who it was but then contradict yourself later by
talking about how neat it was to hear Pee Wee abuse a DA supervisor.

    C: Get violently sick and leave the room.

    7: You have a little static on your telephone line. What do you do?

    A: You call up your CO and lodge a formal complaint, branding the personnel
as lazy, inefficient, and decadent, telling them how much of a better job a
true telecom buff like yourself could do.
    B: Call your local tone sweep to see if Bell is tracing your line.

    C: Hide under your bed until further notice.

    8: Your CO is having open house. You plan to go with all enthusiasm, when
you hear that Cindy, whose body measurements are 36-24-36, is having a 20 keg
party with no cover charge. Cindy has expressed deep lust for you within recent
weeks. What do you do?

    A: Telephone Cindy covertly from your CO where you are taking the tour and
tell her you're sorry, you can't make it, but you have some great new numbers.

    B: Dress in a ninja suit and sneak into your CO through a window.

    C: Rush straight to Cindy's to find out that her new 6 foot 10 boyfriend
is supervising the fun and games.

    9: You go to a shopping mall where there is a demonstration on a new AT&T
phone. The speaker mentions telephone switching for a brief moment. What do
you do?

    A: Run to the nearest restroom and relieve the tension in your bladder.

    B: Push your way to the front of the crowd of telephone illiterates and
begin a heated debate on switching systems and analog to digital conversion.

    C: Whip out your note pad and remove pencil from behind ear to take notes.

    10: You wake up in the morning. What do you do?

    A: Forage into your box of trash for interesting tidbits that you may have
missed last night.

    B: Pick up the telephone and take reassurance that the Telco hasn't turned
off your dial tone yet.

    C: Admonish yourself for forgetting to set the MF routing as your alarm
clock the night before.

    For each question that you answered A on, give yourself 5 points. For each
B answer you gave, give yourself 3 points. For each C Answer, give yourself 1
point. Now go back and add up your totals on your handy dandy pocket calculator
and see how you have tested in the G.I.Q (Geek Ignorance Quotient).

50 points and above-  You are fucking a amazing, and not just elite, not just
super elite, but super amazingly elite!!!! Pat yourself on the back a few hun-
dred times, you deserve it.

30 points and above- You are not quite as fucking a amazing as those in the
above category, but you're close behind. Keep up the good work and soon you'll
be hearing from the GIQ League!

10 points and above- You are rather sad, because if you haven't realized that
this point scoring system is inaccurate and inefficient, not to mention mathe
matically incorrect, then you should stick to watching Scoody Doo reruns
instead of wasting your time trying to be elite, which will never happen anyway
to anyone who had the ingorance to put up with this worthless exam up till now.

DAMN I'M ELITE&!$"%"C$"!$!#!3223

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